So my boyfriends uncle and their family have been wanting to plan a cabin trip in November for the September-December birthdays. I said that would be fun, but I never agreed to anything. It all sounded like a “this would be fun” conversation, not an actual “planning a trip” conversation.

However, there was some miscommunication and his uncle went ahead and booked this huge cabin for the entire family, with me and my boyfriend having one of the rooms. It’d be around $325 just for two nights for us. So split in half is like $160. The thing is, I don’t have that kind of money. I’m barely scrounging by as it is... I also am going to have to get my tooth pulled because I’m in so much pain, but don’t have the money for a crown... plus, me and my boyfriends birthday is in October. I want to get something good for him but I’ve also been wanting a new phone SO bad I’ve had the same phone since 2015, an old iPhone and it’s cracked and dies in 2 hours. That’s all I want for my birthday, and all I’ve wanted for a few years but I keep putting it off. This week and next I’m working 50 hours a week because I wanted to be able to get myself something nice for my birthday.

However now, $160 is a decent chunk to be taken out and I don’t think it’s fair that I have to pay it when I never even agreed to go. I told my boyfriend that I didn’t think I could come up with the money and he said, panicked, “well he already booked it, what am I supposed to do??” I don’t want to be difficult and tell him to cancel it and his uncle lose his deposit, and also fuck up everyone’s birthday plans, however I feel like I’m paying a big amount of money to make my boyfriends family happy. My boyfriend said he really wants me to come, so I offered coming up one night instead of staying the 3 full days so I wouldn’t have to pay, but then he said he couldn’t pay it all himself. (I think he can... at least way easier than I could.)

And the thing is, my boyfriend makes double what I make, and he hasn’t even offered to help me pay even a little bit of it. When I brought it up and said I was stressed, he said “well maybe you can just work some more overtime then you won’t be so stressed.” I found this pretty rude considering he only pays $200 in rent and makes double what I make.

What should I do? Would it be rude of me to come out and ask him to cover more of it, or be difficult and ask his uncle to cancel the reservation??