On New Years. I got so drunk. Black out drunk hoping I wouldn’t wake up. I’m not sure if that’s a suicide attempt. I wanted too a few weeks before that night. I went for a run and had a panic attack and had it all planned out but my husband was home when I got back. So I didn’t. I was in a bad place. I’m much better now. Getting divorced back home. In therapy ect. But I look back on those very few dark weeks and cry because I was willing to leave this world and everyone behind. I feel dumb and stupid. And sometimes I still consider it. But I won’t because I know life will get better. October will be such a hard month. My soon to be ex, came home off deployment we got married. In November he told me he cheated. And everything went downhill. I know I’ll be okay but sometimes things get rough.