Opinions Long post...sorry

This is more of me venting

Backstory: my mom is an only child and has never wanted for anything. My g-parents have always given her everything and she has never had to really do anything on her own.

We don’t have the best relationship due to issues in our past and how she’s treated me but that’s a different story.

Anyways growing up we struggled barely had money always had to move, always lived in smaller houses, had to share a room with my siblings etc, etc...totally different from my mom’s upbringing. My dad passed away 8 years ago and it’s just been my mom. I have her move in with me and my family so she is not alone. She was living in a different state alone barely making ends meat and my brother didn’t really help her as their relationship isn’t the best either.

Well we moved into this rental home with a 5 year plan of buying a home. We are currently in yr 3 and the house is not big 1800sq ft 4 bd, 2 ba home. My BIL currently lives with us also but will be moving out in about 5 months. He currently has the larger of the rooms besides the master. When we moved in we offered that room to my mom because it was bigger but she turned it down because it’s in the front of the house and if we have parties or something she doesn’t want to hear the noise. So she is in the farthest room and it is small but the same size as the other bedroom, which my son has.

Well rt now I’m currently 38 wks and told my son he will be moving to his uncles room after he moves out and baby will take his room. My hubs and I once again offered this room to my mom and she basically blew up at us. She said we have no idea how she feels and she’s never in her whole entire life had to live in a room this small and it’s suffocating and why can’t we find a bigger place and we are making her suffer. Now my husband has 11 other siblings and has had to share a room most of his life with 4 or 5 younger brothers at several points because all they could afford were small houses. So he took offense to this but didn’t say anything.

Now why should I move my whole family just so my mom can have a bigger space? She helps me out by watching my son and the new baby she takes him to school, helps him with his homework and helps us with laundry and cleaning. But in return we pay for everything she has no bills cell phone, car insurance, rent, food, we pay for everything. We even got her a car. And she gets money from Social security from when my dad passed and we don’t ask for anything. We even give her money at times to just be nice. Are we being selfish?