So to start off me and my fiancé are both 23 years old. We have been together for 3 years and living together for 2. I work in a daycare and make $9.50 an hour. He works in a jail and makes $14.75. There is an obvious difference in our paychecks. Lately we’ve been struggling a little bit but not too bad. A few months ago he bought a used truck after he got into a car accident in his other and totaled it. Now we have two car payments that was not anticipated thing. Let me also say that I love my job. I love children and caring for them. Lately he has been getting upset at me because he pays more in bills than I do. He wants me to get a new job that pays more than what I make now. He said he didn’t care if it didn’t make me happy. “You got to do what you gotta do.” I’m not saying that I don’t agree with that statement because sometimes you do have to do what you need to. But he loves his job also and is in the police academy. This is something he loves and wants to do and I don’t understand why I can’t do something I love also. We got into an argument recently and he said he wants to split all bills evenly down the middle. I would agree to do it if I made as much money as him but I don’t and wouldn’t be able to split everything evenly. This man says he wants to marry me and spend the rest of his life with me but doesn’t understand not every couple makes the same amount of money and income. My last job I had didn’t pay much and he wanted me to quit and get a different job and I did. Now he wants me to again and I don’t know how soon I can. He said it needs to be within the next month since he’s in the academy and can’t work overtime anymore. Most of our fights are over finances other than stupid crap most couples fight over. But I always feel like no matter what I do I can never please him. With jobs or even around the house. (Just for example!! ) say I were to clean the house and vacuum and do our dirty clothes. He won’t acknowledge what I’ve done he comes home and says if you vacuumed the carpet why didn’t you use the carpet cleaner why you were at it? Or if you cleaned our clothes why didn’t you go ahead and wash all the bedding too?? Does he not understand we both work and that I’m tired after work too? He hardly ever helps me around the house or helps me with our two dogs and cat. He maybe frustrated with me on money but I’m frustrated with him too and how he’s always giving me a never ending attitude and hassling me. I also found out his best buddy at work told him he and his wife split everything down the middle but she’s a nurse so they literally make around the same amount of money. I just don’t know if I should quit doing what I love to have extra money to spend or keep doing what I love and not have the extra luxuries. Have any of you gone through this?

Ps. I forgot to mention he is gun ho set on us buying a house right now. I mean he’s got a realtor and looking at houses and everything and wants me to take a $5,000 loan out to cover closing costs. I on the other hand think we’re still young and shouldn’t have to buy a house right away especially when I think we’re not completely ready but it seems he doesn’t understand that nor care.

Pss. I’m not so much upset about him thinking I need to contribute more to the house hold finances I’m more upset at the fact that he puts me down and makes me feel worthless sometimes. I’m upset that he told me I should be doing something even if it makes me unhappy when I know damn well he would never stay or be at a job that makes him unhappy. Before he became a corrections officer he worked at jack in the box and hated it so quit. Not every couple is going to have the same salary. The same amount of income coming into the house. It worries me that he wants me to be traditional and cook and clean with out help and bring in the same money he is.