No judgement is needed, i judge myself enough for my indecision in a potential pregnancy.

I am very educated in medical science and am not religious at all. So save your comments about 'going to hell' or 'killing a baby'.

I know this is not a great place to post this but my partner and i have been open to my becoming pregnant for about a year.

Everything has been great, we are both in our mid 30s and this would potentially be my partners first child but not mine.

I chose to have one child previously that is now 9.

I thought i wanted to have another child but now I'm almost a week late on my period and increasingly worried that i may be pregnant.

I'm terrified honestly because i had my first child a decade earlier. The father bailed early on after finding out i was pregnant although we were in a very commited long relationship but eventually i was very happy about it.

My son and i have thrived very well without him around and i have not needed any financial assistance.

Although he did threaten to take our child from me (i got a lawyer) until our child got sick when he was a baby, then he dropped the child off at my front door after knocking and fled the state...

But I'm 34 now.

My body is different- perhaps less capable of carrying/ delivering a second child, and I'm falling apart feeling like i won't have the bond i have had with my only child anymore with not one but two more people in our lives.

This is not a diss against my potential childs father, i know no matter what he will be there for all of us but he does not believe in abortion because he is a sort of religious type of man and doesn't face the same obstacles i do emotionally as well as phisically and medically.

He has no children and is very unforgiving in his beliefs which leads me to believe he will try to battle me in court if he gets mad at me for anything that doesn't go his way immediately.

Unbiased advice is more than welcome.

Legally because we are not married and i made the mistake of being too nice to my previous ex I'm wondering if i decide to go through with the potential pregnancy should i give the child my last name, and get a family lawyer just in case ahead of time?