Having a break from your child

I am curious if all you mothers here have gotten a break from your child in this last year and by break I mean a legit break of over 24hrs completely to yourself away from you child and not necessarily just having a sitter and doing something such as cleaning, working, helping family or friends, but the actual opportunity to rest, relax and do what you wanted for an entire 24hrs or more completely childfree? I haven’t been away from my kid since the moment of conception back in 2017 and I feel that no one understands what I am asking for when I reach out and say “hey! I need a fucking break!” My husband has to leave for 4/5 days at a time for work and no immediate family or friends live close enough to help me. I feel a little strange still about a babysitter still and don’t think I would actually relax knowing the first time I was getting this break my child whom I’ve been inseparable from was with a stranger. I ask my husband for just momentary breaks when he is home (2-3 days max) and no matter how I say it or ask it’s not what I need. He doesn’t understand I see this child every. single. day. I don’t need to know that the baby pooped or that baby ate all his dinner. I don’t want that information unless I ask for it, but he will bust in during my so called “break” and tell me these things. Am I the only one who is still waiting for “me time” and struggling with finding a way to get it and not feel guilty for asking since I haven’t? 🤦🏻‍♀️ not to mention the guilt of wanting a moment makes me feel like a terrible mom— it’s like everyone gets quiet when I voice my struggle with this- which reenforces the thought that I am a horrible mother for being misunderstood...anyone??