New mom with emetophobia

I have severe emetophobia and bad anxiety as it is. I have a 3 week old baby and even when he occasionally throws up milk, I see stars, start to shake and have to fight my anxiety down to help him.

People told me, "once you have a baby, that'll all go away!" Not the case :-(

I try to Google my issues to find help, but reading about vomiting makes me feel like I'm going to pass out. Writing this has me feeling weak 😷

My anxiety is insane, imagining my child getting older and actually throwing up food... It sounds over the top ridiculous, I know, but that's what phobias are-- a fear worse than death 😭 even if it's something stupid.

Has anyone else dealt with a phobia like this? Do you have any advice? I've tried therapy before but it was too intense and I took a break, I want to go back but with a newborn that's not likely to happen for a bit.