Failed cytotec induction at 39 weeks

Yesterday I was supposed to have a baby. Instead, I was gifted with two doses of cytotec, going on two whole days of nonproductive but painful contractions, a NST today, more hands up my business than a stuffed turkey, and a new sense of failure and disappointment. I know it's not the end of the world and I shouldn't be so emotional because I'm still having my baby, I just really thought I would get to hold him and meet him and his nursery makes me cry. I feel emotionally, mentally, and physically drained and I might be selfish but I'm so beyond uncomfortable I just want this baby out.