Anyone need to move past fear to ttc again?

Question

I had a traumatic birth experience with my first and it’s really making it hard to think of chancing it again with another pregnancy.  We would love to have a second, but I just can’t get over the fear that I’m going to leave my firstborn without his mom.  We have such a strong bond and I love him so much that it feels almost impossible to risk it all by delivering again.  Add to that the fact that I would be 40 when I deliver and I had a prior csection (both things that statistically increase your chance of major problems) and I just feel like I’m doomed to not make it.  Got the green light from my doctors, but not making any progress on the actual trying and everyday I just get older and older.  Anyone conquer these kinds of fears?  It’s bumming me out and I feel like I just need to make a choice one way or another.

Answer

I was terrified. It was almost a csection. I needed oxygen. His heart rate dropped. Ended up with a 2nd degree tear and 10 stitches. Took 4 months for me to feel normal again. I cried every night for 2 weeks. My son cried all the time. I almost didn’t have #2. 
I’m glad I did. Totally different delivery! I felt fine within a week!

Answer

My first baby was an emergency c-section and was very traumatic. Developed toxemia afterwards, they told my mom they didn’t know if I was going to live and I didn’t get to see the baby for days. I was put under for the surgery and the recovery was horrible.  It took me 10 years to even think about having another and 14 years to actually do it. But, my second baby was scheduled and not nearly as traumatic. It wasn’t completely smooth though and I still had a third baby. I just ask myself would I go through the trauma of their births to have them in my life and I would a thousand times.

Answer

I plan on going to a birthing center and using a midwife and just read all about this, how modern medicine traumatizes women in child birth by forcing it to happen and not letting a women do it herself in a private comfortable setting. Childbirth is not supposed to be traumatic and laying on your back in a bright room surrounded by chaos and strangers. It was such an eye opener and I makes so much sense! 
Google “undisturbed birth”
The US has the 2nd highest infant mortality rate in the developed world and the highest rate of interventions during birth,

Answer

I’m in a similar boat to you, I am scared to TTC #2 because we struggled to conceive #1 and ended up having ivf and was lucky to work first time. So I’m scared to try and not be able to have another. Plus I had a difficult birth too, not as traumatic as yours by the sounds of it but I would elect for a c section if I did have another due to the complications I encountered. Plus I’m now 37 and not getting any younger. I should also add that because of the difficulties we encountered me and my husband always said we wouldn’t have another but now I think I might want one, he hasn’t changed his mind though. Good luck in your journey, sounds like a planned c section would be the way to go

Anyone need to move past fear to ttc again?

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