My sex life is making me sad?

Question

I know this is maybe awkward or tmi, but I just don’t have any close female friends I can talk to anymore that wouldn’t just tell me to leave my boyfriend, when I need actual advice.
My boyfriend doesn’t initiate sex, he initiates other things, such as me doing things to him, but he never just looks at me and wants to have sex any more. He doesn’t go out of his way to make me feel good either. 
When I try to initiate anything it turns into him asking for oral and when I suggest sex he says “I don’t know” and that’s the end of it, because I won’t push any further, it just makes me feel worse about myself. This entire situation is making me feel very down on myself and unattractive. Maybe I’m over reacting, or just being too much right now, but I feel like he doesn’t see my need for sex as something that is as important as his? I’ve communicated this to him on multiple occasions, telling him that I have needs too, and that I’m not exactly happy with our sex life, and he acts as if he understands but nothing has changed. I feel crazy for being so upset but I’m just not happy with how things are. I know sex isn’t all that matters but I’m only 21, and it feels like there is no passion between us anymore. The situation that led me to posting this tonight, and me feeling this way right now, is because I was doing stuff with him, tried to initiate sex, and he just said “I don’t know” again, and then started jerking off instead of even doing anything with me at all? Right next to me, facing the other way? 
I feel alone, and sad. There’s not a single person I feel comfortable talking about this with because of how personal it is, but I feel like this is doing such a number on my self esteem that it’s not healthy for me.. I had to say something, somewhere. 
I don’t know if he’s just not attracted to me any more, or if he’s not in love with me any more, or if I’m doing something wrong? Things are so different than they were.
He acts as if he loves me until it comes down to anything related to sex.
I know that sex isn’t everything. I know maybe I’m being ungrateful for being so unhappy with my sex life. I’ve had way worse relationships. 
I love this person so much. I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do.

Answer

Give it a few months to see if anything changes. Try to shake things up a bit. Don’t go down on him or do things to get him off til he starts putting in the work for you. 
Turn him on, but when he’s hard if he’s trying to be selfish, tell him you’ve got to be taken care of first this time. Try saying it in a more playful sexy way, but so that he knows you’re serious. 
My fiancé and I went through this after I lost a pregnancy. I felt unsexy for like 3 months, and it seemed for a bit that everything else was more important to him than me. I’d go down on him all the time and when we had sex it would be short shower sex where only he’d get off. I talked to him about it and he’d make excuses. 
I think when I stopped going down and initiating though he started realizing that I was actually annoyed and hurt so things changed. Maybe it’ll help!

Answer

He is actually rude, I don't blame you for feeling this way. If he feels that something is missing from your sex life, then where are his suggestions. If he's up for touching himself then he's clearly horny, so I don't understand?! If you've spoken to him on many occasions, nothing has changed and you're clearly not happy - then I'd have to call it a day.

Answer

You’re are young should be st it like rabbits . Dump his frigid ass and go find a man who enjoys sex . Been there done it so boring and depressing xxx

Answer

Your self worth is more important than how a man feel about you a man will take advantage and use you when your vulnerable

Answer

You are not overreacting, he’s being inconsiderate. You should mutually want to please each other. He’s being rude.
Have you told him what you like? If you have, and he disregards it, then you deserve better.

Answer

Honestly refuse to pleasure him if talking doesn't work. If he doesn't have a sex drive he shouldn't want you to give him oral. Maybe he is just lazy and taking advantage of you. 
Try different things to make him understand you aren't there to pleasure him, sex is about sharing nor giving or taking. He needs to grow up.

Answer

There should always be passion in a relationship no matter how old you are or how long you’ve been together. Some sort of serious issue is going on here, not on your part but his. Some how, children and (many, many, many) women have this way of internalizing everything and assuming they are the cause- this is hardly ever true. Stop beating yourself up. 
If you’ve spoken to him and he isn’t responding it’s time for you to do two things. First, make sure you’ve been clear. “You are neglecting my sexual needs. I need intimacy and you are not giving it to me. It makes me feel less than, hurt, unloved and sexually frustrated. This is not working for me any longer. I need you to be mature and communicate with me, what is going on?” If he doesn’t respond to this, if nothing changes, if he gets angry, etc., it’s time to re-evaluate your relationship. Why are you with him? You’re unhappy and he’s treating you in a way that hurts. Time to go.

My sex life is making me sad?

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