Feeling guilty

Hello everyone

I am 29 weeks and couldn’t be happier and so excited for my baby boy

My husband and I are extremely beyond happy and excited , I feel guilt though and it makes me sad at times because I look back and think how could I be the way I was when I found out I was pregnant, when I found out i was not so happy I became a mess, I was sad, not excited, I was so scared nervous and thought I couldn’t do it even though we were actively trying and I conceived very quick,quicker than I thought it 35 so I thought maybe it would take a longer time to conceive, definitely not the case and now I feel very blessed to conceive naturally and fast, I do feel a lot of guilt I tell myself you were scared not be so hard on yourself , it was a shock it happens but now all I care about ia my boy and keeping him healthy and safe, I love it when I feel his little kicks , and seeing how happy my husband is and my family it’s just exciting , did anyone go through this? I wish I could go back in time and not act the way I did when I found out I started to feel good about it a kk th after finding out I think it was just the shock and the fear of motherhood and how your life is going to change but I hope I can forgive myself for it and not live with the regret of feeling the way I did pregnancy is a blessing and I love my little boy with all my heart I just want this guilt to go away 😪 of how I felt when I found out I was pregnant because I can’t go back in time