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Hi ladies!!

Okay so i need to vent!! And i need advice..i been with my bf for two years now. We live together, we miscarried in February..I useto always put so much effort into this relationship in the beginning but he would ignore me.. or leave for a month never hit me up and do the same thing the month after..and i was an idiot to stay..anyways.. i found out (did my research) that a girl that works with him had a thing with him BTW THIS WAS IN THE BEGINNING OF THE RELATIONSHIP.. i had asked him and he told me they went on a date once..and she was confused about the date and asked “a date? I thought just a work friendship” total bs lol! And coming to find out i checked his laptop and his phone which I probably shouldnt have but i did since my curiosity hit..and i found her IG photos on his laptop..conversations on his mac and his phone.. looks like she never gave in but he tried and tried to have a relationship with her for 5 years... anyways past is the past. This was way before i even met him..but in the beginning of the relationship i saw that they were sending eachother “merry xmas” “happy new years” “happy bday” and he would go buy her food for lunch! He was with ME at the time.. hes never put me anywhere, his social media..which is okay i guess idc about social media but it bothers me that tomorrow they have an event for work and he wont take me because he said its only for employees and SHE will be there! Im so like jealous should I have a reason to? Also forgot to mention for his work xmas party I was pregnant at the time.. his jaw dropped infront of me when he saw her and I remember i pushes his arm since i was so angry how I dressed up and he never even called me beautiful..i was so hurt...shes so tall, skinny and pretty..and im just not like that in which im working out now lost 17 pounds and im getting there... but im I wrong to feel the way that I do? He claims hes over her.. but he doesnt even wanna have sex with me, he claims hes always tired now that im feeling myself now losing weight after being in depression after the baby..