Why do I feel like a bad wife 😭

Question

Hello, I slowly am realizing I see to start every single argument in my relationship he is always telling my I complain and bitch to much and his sick of it. I have only been married a year and I am feeling like I am not a good wife becuase I try and telling things that I dont understand and/or agree with. I dont understand what I am doing wrong I really want this marriage to work I do I love him dearly but it's hard to understand why he wont listen to me.

Answer

This is only based on the vague explanation you gave. 
When one only finds fault  in the relationship... The good never has a chance. Find peace within yourself, don't expect someone to be perfect, and focus on the little things that go unnoticed. It seems you feel like you are his mother.
 He needs a wife, friend, and lover. If you are acting more like his mom... that may be why he complains. If he was so bad before you married him; why did you?

Answer

From what I’ve heard the first year of marriage is always the hardest, it is normal, you are learning to adapt. Just my suggestion because I’ve had this same problem with friends who used to be best friends and after living together we really got to know each other and it was hard!! One of things that helped me a lot was reading that book: Keep your love on by Danny Silk. It did a miracle in me and my friend to help help us live together while leaving to truly keep the love on as friends but it’s a book for all relationships. I’d suggest looking up @DannySilk and hear his podcast too! Praying blessings over your marriage! You are not alone!

Answer

You have to realise that essentially you guys are equal, a team even. Stop yelling ;talking down to him /complaining so much. There are ways to go about things, be gentle, explore other ways to discuss things with him. Be more affectionate. Maybe start off with making his favourite meal, then address whatever the problem is, nicely. Honestly this can push away anyone, nobody wants a second set of parents when they get married!

Answer

Instead of arguing every time you get mad at him put $10 back and keep saving it until you have enough saved up to go get you something you want or to treat yourself. That's what my mamaw does she cause it her mad money stash. She says every time my papaw makes her mad she will put some money back that way she can go treat herself and helps relieves the stress saying it makes her feel better that knowing my papaw pretty much paid for her shopping trip but he just doesn't know it. Lol my mamaw is something else but if it helps they've been married for over 50 years. My advice is I still argue with my man we've been married for 2 years and it usually over the fact I'll ask him to do something and he says he'll do it but never does. That is one thing that irritates me cause I'm not a procrastinator. His mom raised him not to care about hygiene or a clean house that he is so used to her cleaning up after him. I'm not that way I've always been raised to do my part in keeping a clean house I mean I'll clean the house and do laundry and not complain but I'm not gonna clean up after him when he leaves dishes and cans all over the living room or throwing his dirty clothes on the floor. I make him clean up after the animals cause I have asthma and I'm currently pregnant and half the time he doesn't which makes me so mad and it's starts an argument. So I understand if it's over not changing their behavior after explaining to the how it makes you feel or not doing something marriage is teamwork and if one of the teammates is slacking it's harder on the other. So he needs to meet you halfway and both need to sit and talk about everything until you come to agreement and hold them to it.

Answer

What exactly are you complaining about that he doesn’t like?
I just ask because we have similar arguments but it’s my husband who is always bitching. But it’s always about really dumb things like... having to wake up early, having to take the trash out, wanting to take a shower when it’s the middle of the day and we’re about to go out and do something, not liking the movie I picked to watch, etc... it’s really emotionally exhausting being married to someone who is always whining, and I keep trying to explain that to him but he doesn’t even seem to realize how often he’s bitching. 
Now that we’re trying to have a baby I’m pointing it out literally every time he does it because I don’t want our child to learn that it’s ok to complain about everything. Im trying to explain to him that it’s normal and ok to not be happy about EVERYTHING you’re doing... but just because you’re not happy about something doesn’t mean you have to complain about it, and make things miserable for everyone else too?
Not saying it’s the same situation for you, but that’s why I asked what youre complaining about because like I said, I really don’t think my husband realizes how often hes complaining, AND what a huge emotional toll it takes on me to listen to it.

Answer

I understand that I do things like this I make him his favorite meal and I talk to him nicely about it and he either walks away.

Why do I feel like a bad wife 😭

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