Hi girls, I’ve been feeling really jealous and insecure in my relationship and I am in great need of advice. How do you deal with jealous feelings?

About a week ago i found out this girl has really strong feelings for my bf. I was really uncomfortable with that and I asked that my bf not talk to her. I have a lot of trust issues and she’s said some things to him before that just made me really uncomfortable, and they weren’t close friends at all so it wasn’t a big deal that i asked him to stop talking to her. Most of his friends are female and I have no problem with that so I don’t believe i was being controlling, and in the past i also stopped talking to a guy who revealed he had feelings for me out of respect for my boyfriend, so i think my request was fair.

Anyways, he said of course he wouldn’t talk to her anymore because he didn’t want me to feel uncomfortable at all, so that was that. I thought.

fast forward to a few days later we’re hanging out and he gets a text from her. he’d been talking to her trying to plan a time where we would meet up after school at a coffee shop, where we could all talk and clear everything up (she told me she has feelings for him, not him, so he wanted to hear it from her and wanted me to be there). I read through the whole conversation and confirmed that’s all that was said.

I then confronted him, first about the meet up. He said he wasn’t planning on telling me until we were at the coffee shop waiting for her. he said he didn’t think i needed to know until then.

I also confronted him about the fact that he was texting her after promising me he wouldn’t talk to her. He insisted he thought i meant talk to her in a friendly way, and that he was just trying to figure out how long she’d liked him and stuff, and didn’t think it would be a problem because it wasnt like they were talking as friends.

The first part especially really bugged me because I feel like he didn’t respect me by not letting me know he was planning on doing something with me that he knew i didn’t want to do. The second part didnt really bother me because i know he only exchanged a few texts with her and that he just misunderstood what i had asked.

We got in a long argument and in the end he apologized for everything and said he should’ve told me and shouldn’t have texted her, or at least told me he had texted her. He showed me him deleting the conversation and her contact and promised nothing like it would ever happen again. It has not been a problem since.

I forgave him.

But there’s still this lingering jealousy i feel when I see her, and I also find myself getting more jealous of other girls he talks to. I usually go to him when I’m feeling jealous but I don’t want to tell him why I’m feeling jealous and reopen everything associated with this argument. Any advice would be greatly appreciated...