Soooo since the other day, I’ve just been feeling pretty down. So I’m currently 28 weeks pregnant and the other day I had a doctor’s appointment...now I’m extremely self-conscious about my weight and the appearance of my body, so when I stepped on the scale and saw my current weight I immediately got sad. My husband and I came home after the appointment and I cried and cried again. And my husband made a comment that really hurt my feelings, he might’ve been joking but I don’t think he was, he said “This is my shit, I pay the bills here, who name is on the paper” or something close to it & I didn’t like it..like why even make a joke like that when you know we just moved to a new city, and I want a job so bad. Like why say that? MIND YOU WE’RE ON A MILITARY BASE!!!!!!!

So moving along to yesterday, I’m in the kitchen getting ready to cook and he calls his mom on WhatsApp & as he’s calling her I’m cleaning chicken in my sink (I bleach my sink and counters DAILY more than once throughout the day) and she says “Don’t clean your chicken in the sink, that is so nasty, I hate when people do that...it spreads salmonella. Use a bowl to clean and season your chicken in” now alllllllll my life I’ve watched people clean chicken in the sink and I’ve never not once got sick from them doing so.

Next, he calls my mom. And I will tell anyone my mom is my BIGGEST hater, like she will always have something to say about me. So at this point, I’m cooking. And I was making chicken tenders and fries mainly because I wanted the fries. So my husband gets on the phone with my mom and she’s asking my husband “what is your wife cooking? You know she can’t cook nothing but Chicken Alfredo & Jambalaya” so at this point I’m aggravated.

Annnnd today, my husband got home early from work around 12:15 and he comes in and sit down for a minute and eventually says he wants bacon and waffles..so I think I stayed seated for a minute and he gets up and says “Get in the kitchen and fix me something to eat..I want waffles, eggs, and bacon” so at this point my face is all types of jacked up because I’m trying to figure who THE FUCK is he talking to...again, I think he was joking but it was serious to me. And I never got up, so I started doing other stuff around the house. So he gets up, goes in the kitchen, and starts slamming the freezer and fridge door as if I was suppose to care that he actually got up and did something for himself for once.

All in all, I just been feeling down. If it’s not my husband making me feel like I don’t provide anything to the household and making me feel like I’m his personal maid, it’s my mom & mother-in-law making me feel like I can’t do anything or what I’m doing isn’t right to them.

Maybe it’s me trippin, but this is too much.