In my feelings

I'm sorry people that never lost a baby really don't understand the pain that I go through the jealousy that I get when other people is pregnant and I should be pregnant. It only makes me want baby some more but when that doesn't happen it makes me think I'm broken and i can't have kids. When I hear maybe it wasn't the right time or ment to be. Don't nobody know what was the right time besides me and my husband and God. When I knew something was up with my body like back pain sickness nipples hurting all the good stuff I went to the doctor and ask for a blood test she said I was having these problems cuz I was too fast i should lose some weight but they also said they couldn't give it to me cuz I eat breakfast. I'm thinking if I could get pregnant at 380 I could get pregnant at 245 lbs. Just in my feeling today