How much help do you need with a baby?

Question

For those of you who have already had newborns. How much help would you say is required for that newborn stage and with small kids in general? 
My husband and I are on the fence about moving closer to family. They’re currently 1.5 hr away. On one hand it would be great to have extra help from grandmas, but on the other hand moving would mean the commute for my husbands work would be incredibly long. So I’m not sure which sacrifice makes more sense. Either we only get occasional help from when someone can drive to us, or we get more help but hubs commute would be killer daily! Which means he would be home less 🤷🏼‍♀️ 
What do you think? What are your experiences?
Another big question though is babysitting! How do you guys work around that? It’s super expensive where I live. And if I go back to work then you need someone to watch the baby. Or to even step out of the house for anything you need someone to watch it. So I’m looking at it from that standpoint. Not just solely for the newborn stage.

Answer

I’d rather have my husband home more than have extra help. Once you get in a groove, you’ll be fine. Plus family can visit. Being a military spouse we currently live 2500 miles from family. Do I miss it? Yes. But I’d much rather have my husband see our children

Answer

My baby is 11 months old and had no help other than when my husband is home from work in the evenings, it’s been this way from day one because our close family on both sides has either passed away or aren’t on good enough terms to even care and I’ve had my share of moments were I felt like I could give up and didn’t, it wasn’t as hard as people made it out to be!

Answer

I usually had my mom stay with me for the first few days home from the hospital but it's not to help with the baby, it's to help with the house and older kids so my husband and I can bond with the new baby. But I would never move closer to family for that, its 5-7 days (3 while I'm in the hospital and then 2-4 more at home) and not worth uprooting my life over. The hardest part of not living close to family isnt needing extra help but feeling isolated because you are often stuck at home alone. If you have friends that can pop in for coffee then that will help alot. Otherwise, join a mom group when you are ready to socialize.  
If you move 90 minutes to be closer to family, that's 3 hours less time with your husband every day. If you wouldnt be spending that extra 3 hours with your family then I dont think it would be worth it because in the end you'd have less help and also the father would have less time to bond with your child which is significantly more important.

Answer

I would prefer my husband’s commute to be minimal. We raised our first by ourselves, we’re military so away from family. We had no help. We are doing the same with our second. I don’t think extra help is necessary.

Answer

With an infant with no colic I didn’t need help. BUT my daughter is 2, and God I wish I had family nearby to take her for awhile so I could run errands or cook or clean up. I love her. But dragging her in and out a car seat sucks. And cooking, she wants to “see” and the stove and oven going I just constantly have to shoo her away 😅

Answer

You & husband will be fine. Much much better for him to have a reasonable commute & be around more!

Answer

My husband had to go back to work the day we came home from the hospital. He dropped us off and left lol. So I've always done this without help. It's really not too bad and I didn't find myself having a breakdown or anything. I knew he couldn't help it and I also knew I was a mom now so I had to figure it out. Those are actually some of my best memories of being home with a baby because it was just the two of us. Every time after Ive brought baby home to a sibling or two lol.

Answer

Were in exactly the same position - family 1.5 hours away too. We have no plans to move. Actually we moved here because it’s a much nicer area to raise a family. My family visit often and we travel down often and my mum wants nothing more than to babysit so I know she will travel if we needed her 😂 but other than that we are mostly prepared to do this on our own. When he’s old enough we will probably enroll him in a nursery too.

Answer

Are you being a first time mom? Or do you have more children?

Answer

1.5 hours isn’t that far! I currently live 12+ hours from my family. Hoping to move back home soon!

How much help do you need with a baby?

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