My roommate is cheating on her bf and is asking us to lie for her. What do i do?

Question

So I just moved to grad school and have a few housemates but one in particular is cheating on her bf with a friend of ours. I’m not extremely close with the side boy nor am I close with the bf. But since she’s my housemate I’m pretty close with her. Her bf lives about 2 hours away and only visits once a month but always sends flowers and constantly texts/calls. Every time he comes to visit, she asks us to not mention the side guy. As someone who just got cheated on (and isn’t still over him), I feel like covering up cheating is almost as bad as actually cheating itself. On the other hand, this girl already has a very sassy personality and if I tell the bf, she’ll make my life living hell. Not sure if I can live with myself knowing we’re lying to him when he visits though...thoughts?

Accepted Answer

Just stay out if the situation, don’t go out of your way to lie if he asks but also dont go out of your way to tell him. She’s your housemate and going out of your way to out her will just cause unnecessary drama and problems for you. As much as I hate cheating, you dont need to involve yourself

Answer

With these situations is best to stay out of it BUT if he comes to you & ask, just be honest. The truth comes out eventually anyways.

Answer

MYOB

Answer

He deserves to know but you also deserve to be able to live in your own home without worrying about your roommate making your life a “living hell.” I would tread carefully here. Honestly, I would start looking for another roommate if you can. if she’s willing to lie about this and also try to drag other people into the deception, how can you trust her to be honest even with you about other stuff? I know finding a roommate or changing your living situation can be hard, so I think you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself. It is shitty that you’re in this situation but she’s the one who should feel guilty, not you. You have to look out for your own safety and well-being, not just the well-being of someone else’s boyfriend.

Answer

Anyway you can tell him anonymously? That way she doesn’t know who did it but he finds out. Are the other housemates concerned about this as well? I do agree that keeping it a secret is bad but it may make your living situation uncomfortable if the truth does come out.

Answer

It’s not really your business, and usually I try to keep out of that type of stuff. I’d hint at it

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I *definitely* wouldn't lie. I would probably just try to avoid being around or having any involvement with them.

Answer

If you can’t tell him she’s cheating without repercussions, maybe instead explain to her that you and your housemates won’t lie for her because you feel it’s wrong. Maybe you won’t upfront tell him but her asking you to straight up lie is not okay with you all

Answer

Would you want to know?

Answer

I asked this before back in my sophomore year of college and everyone said not to mention it since I lived with her and it would make the living environment very hostile. I hated not telling him though. It felt so wrong.

My roommate is cheating on her bf and is asking us to lie for her. What do i do?

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