This may be a long post but I genuinely need advice and I would also really like to know if something like this happens to anyone else because I’m starting to worry that it will never go away, I’m almost 24 and this has been going on since I was around 12 Id say.

I was always a confident kid but I think I started losing my confidence and became scared of basically everything when I started getting bullied in school and it was pretty bad, I won’t get into it in detail as this post would never end but that’s the start.

Since then I’ve developed depression (which is now gone so at least something!) and huge anxiety issues. Yes I’ve seen doctors for both and had treatments but nothing ever helped my anxiety.

Last year was the worst and I had panic attacks on a weekly basis. I still get them but not as often.

I ended up in the hospital, I thought there was something wrong with my heart because of palpitations but they said everything was okay but I felt like I was having a heart attack! I don’t know how I allowed myself to stress and panic this much at 23.

Please don’t think “she’s young she’s got nothing to stress about”, I do lol. This is real. I won’t get into full detail on why, I just wanna know whether anyone gets this bad and if you have any tips on dealing with it?

You guys it’s that bad that I have a mini panic attack when I need to get off the bus???? I’m panicking about the stupidest things? I get off at the same place every single day and I’m freaking out whether I’ll be able to open the back door because ONE TIME I COULDNT and my brain won’t let it go. And it’s BAD. Like I’m shaking, I’ve got cold sweat and chest pains because of LITTLE things that most people find normal. And I CANT STOP, nothing has worked and the top tip I get is just breathe and ive tried. It works for a bit but my mind goes straight back into panic mode.

I also have a HUGE fear of public speaking. Public anything. I’m walking down the road and I keep feeling watched and I’m sweating my balls. I cannot do public speaking, I actually had to beg my history teacher in high school to give me something else to do instead of doing a presentation in front of the class. I messed up once and everyone laughed and since then I wasn’t able to get up there and try again.

Until university. I thought it would be better cause everything was new and I didn’t know anyone and I was a bit older etc etc. Nope. I didn’t show up for classes I knew they would make me speak in. I avoided everything I could. But there was one module that we simply had to have a presentation in. We did the mock presentation as it was for our final year and that went kind of okay but OF COURSE I messed up in the actual one. Froze and forgot all my lines. Said them wrong and was back on square one.

Anyway I just panic about the tiniest things (bus was an example that happens every day) and I don’t know what to do. I’ve turned down jobs and good opportunities because of my panicking. I can’t afford to see a doctor again because they’ll say the same thing anyway.

Does anyone experience anything similar or does anyone know how to make this better?

Thanks and sorry about the long post!