Horrible relationship

Does anyone here have a horrible relationship with their mom??

Growing up my mom had a horrible drinking problem, she left my dad for money and made the drinking worse, i stuck by her side because i was a very young want to be wiper of my mothers tears. I lived with her and her now on and off again ex boyfriend for 8 years.

I moved out as soon as i could. I got my degree with no assistance from her, i got married, we bought a house in the country on acreage surrounded by trees.

Just before closing on this house, she started making “funny” jokes about moving in with her 3 horses and horse trailer because her boyfriend is an asshole. Well, i was nervous because she has already ended things with him 3x prior to these jokes. Then 3 months after buying our house she calls me and said i ended it with ____, can i start moving my stuff over there?

Now, my mom and i have never had a great relationship, she treated me as a counselor not a daughter, she found peace with her horses and alcohol and left me in the dust. She treated her boyfriend in the worst possible ways and he was the sweetest guy. I was very resentful of this. Hence the reason i left ASAP.

So, me wanting to help as much as possible said sure. Our house is 2 bedrooms. We are/ were trying to start a family. We started decorating that room as a nursery because i was 6 weeks pregnant. Then she came. I lost the baby (not her fault though) and she decided she will move into our second bedroom, leaving messes everywhere, leaving the room in horrible shape. Tracking horse poop and shavings and hay everywhere she went.

I just kept quiet and said it’s only for a short period of time. Nope. She made herself comfy and said 1-2 YEARS Max. Then she started saying i need to respect her more and not make her feel worthless etc.

YALL. I have never ever said anything to even sound like that. And she said i “imply it with my actions”

My actions as she states it

Is coming home and going straight to bed. I work 12 hr shifts. I drive an hr both way. 14 hrs total 5 days a week. I’m TIRED.

I tell her to put the dishes away!?

Stupid shit like that and I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE. I have a strong strong dislike and this situation is getting worse and worse. She’s my mom but i can’t get over the fact she should still respect me and my husbands space