What would you do?

My boyfriend has a terrible habit of projecting and gaslighting. We’ve almost been together for a year and a half, but lately I’ve been going to therapy more to talk about what I’m going through and a large part of it seems like he has a lot to work through that he isn’t acknowledging.

- he told me “that’s how it starts, growing apart” when I’d said it’s okay that we don’t cuddle to fall asleep every night because we don’t fall asleep on the same side. (Id asked him if that’s what happened in his last relationship and he said yes.)

- I told him I wanted to visit my friends for my bday, since he didn’t make an effort to be there for the plans we made originally due to a work trip that isn’t mandatory. (He told me that “your friends will influence your decision on our relationship” and then later tells me thats what happened with his ex when she went to Europe for 3 weeks).

- he got mad at me for “still following” a guy I matched with on Tinder before we started dating (I mean do you regularly “clean up” your following list?? —also mind you they now work together and it clicked; I also never went on a date with this dude and barely talked)

- he’s asked me several times “are you sure you aren’t Hiding anything from me? Anything at all?” And I’ll say no. This was before I found out he was lying to me about this girl for the last 11 months.

I’m not crazy for thinking it’s gaslighting/projecting right? What would you do if you’re in my shoes?