Relationship change since baby on board

Married 6 years, together 9! I’ve always been a mingler, so getting on with my in-laws was ok, despite how different their home culture is to mine.

Example:

Them: TV sport and lots of alcohol.... Me: Ffilm and board gaming..... Them: SAHM and posh dining, shopping & travelling.... Me: career pathways, full time working, bargain hunter. 😁

Anyway, baby came along early this year and everything has changed. It kind of all started when I was 6 months pregnant. FIL had too many beers and said I was only an incubator to them. He referred to me as fatty instead of my name occasionally too. MIL also kept mentioning weight whilst pregnant. My anxiety went through the roof. My baby is now 8 months old and Postnatal anxiety is only present when they visit, it truly is awful 😔. I kept my distance for my own mental well-being and my husband deals with virtual communication, despite it being a group chat. Due to the 200 mile distance when they visit they stay a few nights, during which, none to little help is offered. We cook and clean. My MIL offered to do some ironing once and she loaded the dishwasher after we cooked once. But to be honest It’s not the lack of offer, it’s the fact that hosting whilst having a young baby is EXHAUSTING.... on top of high anxiety visitors.... which means I get even less sleep than I usually do. They have however always treated us by dining out once over their stays... so I’m aware they’re trying to help in a way they think they are. It would just be nice for them to help themselves to their own drinks and food in our home...

On a side note, MIL also air kisses baby over the mouth after we said no mouth kissing, which I still feel is testing those boundaries.... or perhaps I’m being too touchy on this one? Am I?.

Communication is pretty poor, clearly, but I feel as though there is a lack of respect and I’ve felt this way for some time. How can I ever trust my baby with them when the time does come? 😞