Advice please 💔

My husband and I have been married for two and a half years. We have two four year old boys, both from previous relationships. We’ve been trying for two years to conceive, two false positives and one miscarriage. Its been heartbreaking...

I always kinda knew I wasn’t his type. All of his crushes and ex’s were all skinny, blonde, pretty much perfect. I’m the opposite. I lost weight right before I met him, but gained it all back. I’m now 215lbs, hair cut short (not blonde) and I have zero confidence. We had one incident last year where I caught him talking to another women, an “old friend” who was going through a divorce, exactly his type. He told her how “rough” our relationship had gotten and she even gave him divorce advice. I ended up finding her on his Snapchat. One night while he was sleeping I sent her a friend request from my FB account, she snap chatted him not even a minute later with a selfie captioned, “making bitches jealous”. I went off, blocked her on every account he has, but ended up forgiving him.

This year, around our anniversary in July, I noticed him becoming distant again. He would fall asleep on the couch and would rarely touch me. He always had an excuse, like being “too tired”.One night I woke up to one of our boys crying and when I waked out my husband was on the couch trying to hide his phone, but not before it fell on the floor and the heard the moans of another woman... he was watching porn and Of course, skinny blonde girl... I lost it, I was already self conscious with him not touching me. Locked him out of the bedroom and didn’t let him touch me for two weeks. He reasoning was, and I laughed at this, he “thought it would help (him) sleep”...Then I went through his phone again and found out he was watching it again, after he saw the pain I went through the first time. It’s been a month, he still hasn’t given me an explanation for why he did it. I feel dirty and unwanted. We’ve tried being intimate, but there’s no romance or passion, no feeing at all. I can’t look at him without feeling broken. He says he loves me, but I can’t trust him..

What do I do?

Any advice is helpful, thank you 💔