Leaving a 6 year relationship.

This guy was my high-school sweetheart we have been together for 6 years. We got married June 1st of this year. I ended up filing for divorce August 18th. I love this man to death but he just didn't appreciate me. The past six years that we've been together I always made more of an effort to keep us together and I drained myself and I lost myself in the midst of doing all of it. He always told me that nobody would want me. He started drinking and he pinned me down for sex. Until this day I still love him to death and I can't see myself without him. My question is how do I move on. How do I find myself? Why can't I forget him? Even though I know he doesn't deserve me why do I feel like I deserve him?

I didn't have a vehicle and I always make more of an effort to see him than he ever did see me. Every time we got into a fight I was the one that always came back and tried fixing things. On one of my days trying to see him I got into a severe car accident that caused me to have amnesia. I always tried to get him to see a notice of things that I did for him but all he sees that I'm just complaining I never was trying to complain I just wanted him to understand where I was coming from. I always saw past the bad I always saw the good in him. So it hurts me to see him talking down on me and trying to ruin my reputation just because I did what was best for me.