How can I get back with my ex?

Recently my ex boyfriend and I broke up due to a 2 hour distance between us because of college. I still love him and I was pushing him away because of a lot of events that happened while I was in college. I was assaulted and I started fighting with everyone in my life. I just cut off contact with him but I miss him so much. He was my first.. and I feel like I’ll never get over this. I’ve made a huge mistake.