Why is my likes to play tricks on me🤬

Ok, I’ve had 3 unplanned pregnancies over the last 20 years which all ended in mc’s. The last one was on 5th Nov some years back. I like to keep it vague just my way of handling it.

Anyway, I’m now planning to have a child with an amazing man who I’ve known since diapers! I’m trying to chose my words wisely as I hate saying, “I’m ttc”. I’d prefer to say “I’m actively practising” lol playing on words kinda helps my mind.

We’ve been actively practising for the last 3 months. I’ve done all the health checks, started taking folic acid as per EMU, changed my diet, started exercising - generally trying to be a good host and looking myself.

This month, I tried to tracked my temp, epic fail. I generally sleep for about 5 hours over a 8 hour period... Such joy 🙄

I tried opks on cd12, as I generally have a 26 day cycle. turned out Ov on cd13 (23rd Oct). SO and I generally bd every day and have done since the start of our relationship 🤗 I just wanted to make sure we did it the the right time frame.

Flash forward to 1st Nov, I noticed spotting after a loo visit. This happened for 2 days on and off. Nothing major just a pinkish tinge after wiping. I tried to contain my excitement as I was in the tww, it could be anything. My mind was thinking implantation.

My period was predicted for 5/11/19. Yep the same date as my last Mc. I kept calm as I had my usual sore heavy boobs, stomach cramps and don’t mess with me attitude. AF was around the corner.

By 8/11/19 no af... I’m not going to drag this out.

I think I took about 10 preggo test between 8th - 13th Nov all BFN!

13/11/19 called gp for blood test as I started to get a bit obsessed with preggo tests! Thanks to forces of nature funking up my travel plans (4 flat tyres in the space of 5 days... all different tyres) the blood test didn’t take place until 15/11/19.

After waiting the full weekend for my blood results, AF turned up 5am this morning!!! Like...... What the grandmaster flash?!?!

Why does my body like to tease me like an annoying little sister wafting a chocolate bar in my face then running off?!?

I’m so happy I’ve started and it’s not as vengefilled as I feared it to be. I just want to get my BFP, raise my beautiful child with their loving father the best way we can. Is that too much to ask?

Rant over. Thanks for reading for this long lol.

Remember ladies you are not out until af shows. Even when she does show don’t be disheartened, it means you able to try again for another month! I’m going to continue being a good host until my guest(s) arrives.

Baby dust to you all ladies. Have a wonderful week ☮️ 💜