Cant help but feel like a horrible person

I just found our im pregnant, and my partner doesn’t want it. We already have a kid together and he feels like we’re not ready for another so soon. I do agree that its sooner than i would like and im not thrilled either but I cant have an abortion like he is suggesting.

We weren’t trying and I was on birth control but yet I still feel like this is my fault. He’s putting the blame on me and keeps saying that if I’m not so happy about the baby either then why wont i get an abortion. But it’s not that simple. Ive lost two babies before this at 22 weeks and 13 weeks, and I already blame myself for that even though it wasn’t my fault. I dont think I could live with myself knowing that I made the choice to end this pregnancy. But i see how angry he is about this pregnancy and how much it’s already causing problems in our relationship that I cant help but feel like a bad person. Am I wrong in this ? I just feel so lost and alone