Did your mom help you in the first few weeks?

Question

My husband and and I are expecting our first child, a daughter, Jan 22! We live in Wisconsin and my mom lives in Georgia. My mom really wants to be there to help us immediately after birth (stay with us for 2 weeks or so). I appreciate her offer, but my husband gets to take 2 weeks off with me initially to help me recover and I feel like I would rather just have it be he and I with our new child for those first 2 weeks to figure things out and get our flow down. Then she can come up and help out when he returns to work. That’s when I feel like she would be the most helpful to me. But she so mad at me and taking it personally and wants to be there in the beginning and I don’t know what to do. Any advice would be helpful!

Answer

Don’t let her control your decision, I would tell her your for sure on what you want. She should respect your wishes. If not she’ll eventually get over it

Answer

With extended family ala your parents or inlaws its important to habe BOUNDARIES setvin place from the VERY BEGINNING.  i csnt stress this enough.  Be firm with your boundaries now and always or else people will try to walk all over you.  This is your baby.  You make up the rules & boundaries.  
What you are asking is completely fine.  Dont cave to your mom.

Answer

Thank you so much for all the advice and comments!!

Answer

If she really wants to come and help maybe she can do it when his leave is over.

Answer

My mom got mad that I don't want her their when u give birth I just want it to be me and him , and she already experienced giving birth so what is the big difference from now she can wait out the room as it'll still be the same and when we go home I want a week atleast with just my baby me and bf

Answer

I think it’s soooooo important for you and your husband to have time to yourselves. I personally would have hated anyone staying with us. Don’t get me wrong, it was such a change and that was difficult, but as you said you need that time to figure it out for yourself. Because your mums ‘been there done that’ she’ll step in to ‘help’ as she knows what she’s doing but that doesn’t give you the opportunity to get to know what your baby needs for yourself. 
Be firm - tell her that the help is appreciated but you want some space for the first week of two to get your head around everything.

Answer

I don't have my mother anymore, but if I did she wouldn't be here. Everyone was allowed a super short visit, but we mostly just wanted to be us in the beginning.
Don't let guilt trip you into changing what you want.

Did your mom help you in the first few weeks?

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