Conflicted emotions 😣😩😥

Today my sister in law gave birth to a healthy baby girl, which is amazing news!

But all I can do is cry, not tears of happiness but tears of jealousy and sadness. I would of been roughly 33 weeks pregnant myself. I lost my little bean at 7 weeks after 10years of trying and during my miscarriage she announced she was 14 weeks pregnant after their first try.

I am full of bitterness. I try to control my emotions as it's meant to be a happy time, but my heart is just so full of sadness.

I am dreading seeing my husband hold this beautiful little girl, because deep down all I want is to give him a child of our own 😥 I knew this would be difficult but I know I have to accept it.i just cant seem to move on from our loss.