So when I was 14 I got home from school and my brother asked if he could go spend the night with his friend well he has autism so he really didn’t get along with people or anything but this kid I guess he did so I said yes but call me if something happens plz and I taught him how to use a phone real quick and gave him my old one and his friend picked him up well my mom and the guy we was staying with at the time both called me and both of them said they wouldn’t be off work until like 1am so I decide to make some homemade donuts and hop in the shower while the cooled down while I was in the shower I was jamming out to music until all of a sudden the guy we was staying with yanked me out the shower and threw me on my bed and raped me for years I was scared to take a shower and also when I told my mom she said I was lying well I few months later I moved in with my dad and he tried to give me a hug when he came and picked me up to live with him and I had a panic attack when I finally gained the guts to tell my dad what happened he called me a “whore” and said “you wanted it” right then in there I knew I was alone and had to get through this alone well one day we was in Walmart and I saw the man and he tried talking to me I looked over and saw he had his daughter with him so I quietly told him “stay away from me you know what you did” he backed away slowly and went away well my dad saw and was like “who was that??” I didn’t want to tell him so I said “it’s one of moms old friends” ever since that day I have a fear of showers so now I have to take baths with the curtains open and also I’m engaged now and it’s hard sometimes cuz he will do something that reminds me of that night and I’ll have a panic attack and it scares him I hate living in fear from it all and I never have been able to talk to anyone. If anyone had any tips on how to cope with this plz help cuz its tearing my relationship apart and I truly love the man I’m with now