My sister had an ectopic pregnancy... Advice?

Question

Hey girls, trying to see what would be the best way to help my sister if there is any... 
So some background i am the baby sister of 3 and had my first baby this year. My 2nd oldest sister recently found out she was pregnant.... Her due date was gonna be like almost the same as my sons bday. It was her first pregnancy. She found out last night it was an ectopic pregnancy and was given a shot to make her miscarry. 
I've been literally crying all morning for my sister. I don't understand why my first pregnancy was easy and this happens to her? Also my husband's drug addict brothers girlfriend just had a healthy baby after doing heroin the whole time! I feel SO mad at god today for my sister having to go through this. 😔 It is making me feel guilty for my healthy recent pregnancy.
I haven't talked to her I got this information from my mom and oldest sister who went with her to the hospital. Do you have any advice for me? How can I help her cope? Should I reach out or let her come to me? Ive been contemplating writing her boyfriend all morning to see how she is but I don't want to be a bother... 
For my own knowledge, does it take awhile to conceive after a ectopic and are you more likely yo have one again? It took her 4 months to conceive this one. 😔
Sorry for writing a book.

Answer

Definitely reach out. The worst thing is feeling like no one cares about your loss because they don't even talk to you. Dont worry about having the right words, or about trying to make her feel better, because there are no words that will make it better. Just offer your condolences. Tell her you are there for her and that you love her and if she ever needs someone to talk to, day or night, tell her you are there to listen. If you are local, offer to bring her food. Not having to worry about meals is so helpful.

Answer

My first was an ectopic and no one in my family would acknowledge that I was pregnant or had lost a child. They still don't. I've had two miscarriages since then and they still don't. Reach out to her and let her know you care, that you're there for her. I would have loved to have had someone there for me at any point in the last twenty years to talk about it.

Answer

Reach out, definitely. I’ve never had an ectopic but I did miscarry. It’s an awful, heart-wrenching place to be. And while you don’t wanna talk to people about the actual loss of your baby, you just want them to tell you that they’re sorry and that they’re there for you to listen whenever you’re ready. I understand sometimes people don’t know how to react and what to tell you, but the absolute worst you can do is ignore the thing, act like nothing happened and wait for her to reach out. She probably doesn’t even have the energy to look at her phone. I must say I was quite hurt when people that I knew, knew, never even texted or bothered to acknowledge the fact. Also, when you do talk to her, she doesn’t need to hear advice, or cliches like “everything happens for a reason”, “at least it was early, you can try again” etc. But I am positive she would want her sister to be there for her in this time. And it sounds like you would be a good support to her, you’re asking all the right questions. And please don’t feel guilty about your healthy pregnancy, you did nothing wrong. And while your sister is in pain right now and every pregnancy she sees will be hard for her, she knows it too. Good luck!

Answer

I don't have experience with it, but I do have a friend/acquaintance who had an ectopic pregnancy and lost one of her tubes. She got pregnant again about 4 months later and baby is right where they should be! She's actually due the same month as me. I know every situation is different, but there is hope! I'm sorry I don't know what else to say other than that. I'm so sorry she's going through all that 😭

My sister had an ectopic pregnancy... Advice?

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