What do I tell her?

Question

My husband and I live 12 hours from family. I wanted to do this birth with just my husband here. I wanted to wait at least a week for people to start coming out. Then I get this text from my mom.

I’m due the end of January and this is the first I’m hearing of this... which frustrates me to no end because if we never had the conversation we were having today, when would she have finally brought it up? 
My mom gets very touchy with subjects like this. But I really don’t want to be bumbarded with a bunch of people while trying to adjust to a baby. 
I just need help on how to let her down easy so she doesn’t get offended...

Answer

Just nicely say 'im so grateful and excited that you'll be able to come down after I have the baby! However, ___ and I have agreed that for the first __ days were at the hospital/home, we don't want any visitors. We really just feel like that's time we're going to need alone together as a family to bond, adjust, and recover. I know everyone's going to be excited and disappointed that they can't see baby right away, but this is what's best for our new little family. I hope you understand!'

Answer

I would just be honest with her. Tell her you would love for her to come spend a few days after you guys have time to adjust. Maybe make it so she’s one of the first to visit?
Honestly, my MIL stayed for two weeks right after the birth of my first child and it was sooo helpful. I was very glad she came. She helped cook, clean, watch baby for an hour or so, etc.

Answer

I couldn’t imagine doing it without my mum there! I think it’ll be so helpful but obviously I understand where you’re coming from, just tell her and she’ll be fine :)

Answer

Well I don’t see having your mom as a “bunch of people” but if u aren’t comfortable with it then just tell her what u have in mind, otherwise ur going to stress urself out over a situation that can be handled by an adult conversation. Is ur mom overbearing?! I’m sure she is so excited for this baby, do u think she would be helpful once baby is born or just add to the stress?  Can u really picture having ur baby and ur mom having to go a week or more without meeting him/her? If the thought of her being there is stressing h out then don’t agree to it.

Answer

Just flat out tell her you don’t want here there till you have adjusted to baby. It was nice of her to offer but you don’t need it.

Answer

Tell the truth

Answer

Honestly it might be an awkward conversation and she might be annoyed but will she be so pissed that she won’t visit at all? No, probably not. You’ll be thankful of the space.
I had my parents, sister and her boyfriend, and my MIL hanging around for hours after my son was born and I got completely overwhelmed and asked them all to leave in the end. It was horrible. An awkward conversation now will save you possible arguments and ill-feelings during those crucial days.

Answer

Just put your foot down

Answer

Set some boundaries tell her you want just you and your husband. You're the parent of this little one you get the last word. She can be hurt but don't give in to all the guilty or sadness.

What do I tell her?

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