how to get over someone

so i’ve been going through a tough breakup and i’m still hung up on it after four months. he was my first love. I feel embarrassed and weak that i still cry often and miss him all the time. everyone says move on but HOW? how does one move on? everyone says distract yourself but, trust me, I have plenty of distractions i’ve tried and my mind still wanders to him. they say focus on yourself but i’ve been trying and nothing is changing. they say go out and date again but every time I think of myself with someone else i just don’t want it.. and also I have social anxiety and can’t seem to get comfortable with anyone who is not already close to me. I want to move on more than anything but my brain and my thoughts keep me trapped. any help?