Why do I keep doing this to myself?

Daniela • Mom of two👼 07/17/2019 / 09/30/2019 and my 🌈 11/05/2020

I am 8 dpo and I have been testing since 6spo. My two pregnancies have find out at least at 13 dpo. My last pregnancy tested at 10 dpo and it was a BFN and then at 14 dpo was a BFP.

I just want a rainbow 🌈 so much that I have been imagining symptoms since 2dpo. I know there was too early but I think I am losing my mind. This is my firts cycle TTC after my second MC...1 I just want a baby so much 😭