Trying again

I'm scared I really am. As me and my husband are trying again I can't help but think. That I will never carry a live baby again. I have a 3 year old boy and I have 1 angel baby. I'm so worried I only told 2 people other then husband. My little sister and my best friend but I'm so afraid that I'm not going to get pregnant and If I do I'm just going to miscarry again. I know alot of people get pregnant after miscarriage and have no problems. But I worry too much. Me and my husband have been getting busy past 2 days so I can take a test before new years. But I don't even want to tell him if I am pregnant until after I'm out of the miscarriage window. I know that's selfish but I only told my family and I seen they were all crushed about the miscarriage. I guess I'm just scared. Maybe I should just stop I have a toddler at home that should be enough for me....