Tomorrow I am getting my abdominal cerclage! I am anxious, happy, sad and scared. I was diagnosed with incompetent cervix after my third lost. I am looking forward for 2020 for maybe new beginnings, but as the holidays are approaching my arms and heart still aches for my losses. I don’t know when I get pregnant again but this surgery is giving me hope. I hope to bring a healthy baby home. I hope I can carry this baby full term or at least at 37 weeks. Tomorrow is a new beginning but I can’t forget what the past has left in me.