LADIES I NEED HELP!!!!

Okay some of y’all are going to get on my case I would to if I was in you reading this! But I already know my head is already yelling at me! So I went to get full custody of my daughter the court date was finally set, its in two months. I’m calling my lawyer Monday. But I’m at a crossroad, I did this because the father he uses his depression to control me and his family is always crossing boundaries when it comes to our daughter.

One I didn’t want to move in with them because everytime I was over there with the father it was the game or sex or sleeping and I didn’t want that, I started to doubt that he would step tf up. When I changed my mind on moving in they wouldn’t give us the baby shower gifts. Eventually i was able to get her new born stuff but thats it. So when our daughter was a month I started spending weekends there, and second weekend im there im cleaning his room and i find his journal from boot camp where he’s talking about these feelings he had for these girls and how he wanted to fuck them so bad, but they wouldn’t ever be with him cause he had a family at home. I confront him he leaves work blowing up my phone when he gets to me he’s crying hell im crying because it tore my heart to shreds because I’ve been with him for 3 years wouldn’t of thought he’d ever hurt me like this, then he saying I can’t go home because if I do he knows I would never come back and how hed be worthless his life would have no meaning. So I stupidly moved in. Months go by I keep finding evidence he’s cheating he threatens his life I stay.

(Theres a lot more that happened when I was pregnant especially for the baby shower but this is going to be long as is) - so short scoop my mom me his sister and mom were supposed to get together once a week to make decorations and favors we held off until a week prior because his sister kept canceling with my mom and his mom went on vacation the week prior, meanwhile when I’d go over there on Saturdays for family dinner his mom and sister were telling me my mom never contacted them- This ut tension between me and my mom and my mom showed me over 20 weeks of her messaging making plans then them canceling) so His mom always pushing it, but I keep my cool always respectful I set boundaries eventually I want to be the one to put her to bed always that’s important to me, her bedtime is 8-9 sometimes 9:30 depending on her nap in the day. That’s an issue because his mom wants to do that and or takes her out of her room. I don’t want her wearing hoop earrings that were bought fof her around 7-8 months because she’s teething and pulls on her ear (plus his grandmother bought them as her first tooth present they just took forever to get here ig but she said she wad buying her shoes not earrings). His parents complained and he gets on my ass for saying no and we have to have a screaming argument fof him to even understand my side or just drop it. His biggest point was the money that was spent and my defense I knew it wasn’t a good idea plus I did the research I spoke with her doctor and even her doctor said no. But everything that me and him talk about and is okay isn’t okay after his parents get involved. This past summer I went to my cousins first football game of the season the weather was great and they adore our daughter me and the father already agreed to me and our daughter going he wanted to stay home. So on my way out with our daughter they have people arriving (I didn’t know they were coming over but they were invited to spend time with our daughter without me or the fathers knowledge) and they ask if im leaving and I say yeah its my cousins first game going to support them I always go out of my way to make sure I am being respectful. Well half way through the game the father is blowing up my phone and saying I can’t leave the house on weekends anymore because thats his parents time with us! And this is once in a bluemoon that I actually go anywhere. Anytime I talk about my family they get attitude. They are always talking shit about my parents in spanish I may be white but I studied it. Ever since I got pregnant his grandmother and mother and his mothers side of the family make sly jokes about me being white ect.... I was told by a friend of mine that is spanish to never disclose that I know spanish around spanish families to know what they really think of you! So happy she help tutor me in class she’s been an amazing friend since elementary. The big thing that set it off was for her first birthday we were going to keep it small they told us we were failing her by doing that. We are young parents hes 19 im 18 well now im 19. So he didn’t want to spend a lot so I put my 3 last checks into this party I had a family friend do pictures for decorations with her in her party outfit i made. Party was great but I could only invite my emediate Family because they kept inviting people even though we had a max limit. Well all of his family shows up 2-3 hrs late so we shut it down an hr early. Well the entire time his moms been telling all of his family that her party for rose is at the house. So I let it slide for the time because thats where we live can’t escape it but stopped at my moms to drop off the decorations because I can save them there his parents dogs are gross they pee in the house! Which is a big issue as well! Well we head over there and then she asks the father if we would be interested in going to Maryland with them in August and he said if he got pto from work she continued to say well we are taking the grandkids with us and he said not without us and she kept saying she would so I flipped i told her hell no! And she said we couldn’t tell her no so i went yes the hell we can we are her parents and she will not go states away without us! At that point im telling him we need to go upstairs i had it! We ut rose infront of the cake they got her sang and then went upstairs. Next day went over to my parents with our daughter to celebrate my birthday because my dad works night so we can’t do it my actual birthday which is two days after our daughter’s. Well her father is blowing up my phone because hes mad because his sister is mad because i got pictures done with our daughter for her birthday because that’s what she wanted to do but never disclosed that with us. But she spent 300 and I didn’t see the problem because its two completely different settings and outfits so how is it an issue its a photoshoot so he is making me feel bad well trying to because I don’t see where I was in the wrong. Then yells at me for how i spoke to his mom which he’s been way more disrespectful to mine and this was the first time I ever disrespected her. And it’s because she was threatening to take our daughter states away! So I decided I was going to stay at my parents that night because I needed time to breathe plus the Wednesday prior to her party which was on a Saturday we were told that my blood pressure was low im pregnant and to avoid stress that entire weekend was stressed and he was no help but when I told him I was staying the night he showed up saying he was going to take our daughter home and I said no because I didn’t feel safe with her around his family anymore and I don’t. Then because I wasn’t listening he started to threaten to drive his car into the other side of traffic. Its been a good two weeks and hes not living with his parents rn he’s crashing at his brothers and is on medication for his depression and other stuff for his animia, and has an appointment with a therapist in January but he wants joint custody. And I don’t ever want his family around our kids, after observing with them for a year trying to make things work I’m done they’re very controlling people and I don’t want that in my childrens life or mine. With their father I love him I do i just can’t keep going through this with him he keeps saying I need to help him but I am raising our daughter he’s barely changed diapers he gets home games and sleeps even now when he comes over to visit he is on a game spends a few minutes with her then wants all of my attention and affection. So I just i know what i have to do but if i do it he already said if i went through with the full custody we wouldn’t be together so I don’t know what to do currently and I am scared I don’t want this to send him off the deep edge but I also have to protect our kids what if they’re older and he controls them like he does to me. Its all very confusing and a lot and I don’t know what to do