I am seriously struggling this Christmas... and I hate that I am.

I’m soo lucky this year as I get to celebrate Christmas with my sister and nieces for the first time EVER. I feel so blessed for this opportunity but I am also feeling the emptiness really badly.. two years ago we announced to our immediate family that we were expecting at Christmas time, it ended in MC at 11 weeks. We have now been TTC for 19 months and I’m starting to think my one and only will really be my one and only..💔😭

I am the youngest in my family but we are also the only ones that don’t have a kid.. 😞 and it breaks my heart.

Tonight we celebrated Christmas with my in laws and my MIL went a lot crazy for her only two grandkids and then turned around and only gave my husband and I two gifts. It’s upsetting that she’ll go spend $1000 on two little kids and then get their parents gifts and only get us two small things.. and honestly it was hard for me to watch...not just cause of how much she gave to them but because I should have a little getting stuff too and being so excited and yet I don’t.. 💔

Not to mention my SIL literally EXPECTS me to get her kids gift which I can’t really afford this year due to some unfortunate bills that occurred recently. Not only that I feel like if you expect someone to do get you/your kids something you should probably give something and she has never got me or my husband anything so it really irritates me that she expects me to give them gifts... idk I guess maybe I’m just really in my feelings.😞💔😭 thanks for reading and Merry Christmas!🎄