am I a homewrecker?

this is going to sound bad but I’ll take the hate because I need advice.

I started working with this guy back in July and my first thoughts were just that he was a really chill and nice guy. I knew the girl he was seeing was pregnant but I didn’t know the extent of their relationship or really any personal details as we didn’t have that type of friendship.

Fast forward to now, they are expecting their baby to be born between Christmas and New Years, and I’m 8 days late..

I hope I am not pregnant, I really hope I’m not, but it’s stressing me out thinking that in order to tell people (e.i my family) that I’m pregnant, I’d have to tell them about this guy. They know about this guy and my mom has actually met him before but that’s besides the point. I believe that since he is the one in a relationship, then he is whole heartedly the cheater, and ultimately to blame for his own actions. Other people (e.i. our coworkers) knew him 6months before they knew me and believe that this is all my fault and I ruined his relationship and therefore I am a homewrecker.

I think an important detail is that he is 33 and I am 19.

Edit: I would like to reply to your comments but I would also like to stay anonymous.

He had first described their relationship more as by fault since they were having a baby together, and that they were living more as roommates than as a couple. I know either way it’s cheating, but I don’t see how I would be the cause of him cheating if he was actively pursuing another relationship while already being in a relationship. I was not looking to be anything more than coworkers with this guy and then he left his number on my car window and we started talking.

As for me being late, we have used condoms every time and I have also taken plan b twice as an extra precaution. I am allergic to many forms of birth control but my doctor finally cleared me a month ago for a low dose progestin-only pill that I can start taking as soon as I start my next period which has yet to happen.

Edit 2: I did not include my age as an excuse, I included it because clearly there is a large age gap and I thought that was important enough to include. But every body saying I’m 19 and should know better, shouldn’t a 33y/o know better as well?

My firm beliefs are that those in a strong healthy relationships would never put themselves in any situation to lose their significant other. Clearly if he loved her he would not cheat on her and it’s that simple. If I were her I would leave him regardless of the baby, and since I may be in her situation I stand by that. I’m not trying to be with him.

Edit 3: “I hope his SO finds out” yeah she knows and has kicked him out twice but the first time she let him right back in and the second time she told me to pick him up and he slept in my guest bedroom then she took him back for the second time. I’m not trying to justify my actions I just think she’s stupid and should end things with him regardless of the baby.

Last edit: the difference between me and her is she is in a committed relationship with him, and me and him are no strings attached. I don’t need him to care about me nor do I want him to. He can’t cheat on me because we aren’t committed therefore we are both free to whoever. I guess after reading everybody’s opinions I decide I don’t care how fucked up it is because everybody has a number of various life events and mine lead me to here whereas as others will never find themselves in this position. And vice versa.

I will be taking a preg test on the 28th if you are interested then check back.

Update:

I tested this morning and this afternoon, results are all negative

Thank you to the girls who have offered to talk with me privately and have been very respectful and understanding of my situation. I appreciate each one of you 💗

While I was expecting myself to receive hate, this post was not intended as a place for commenters to receive such disrespect solely because they engaged in offering advice.

Not that any negative commenters need more info to twist, but this guy and I have had sex 3 times, first time being a month ago. We had a friendship starting in July which is what caused our coworkers to assume he was cheating on his girl, and ultimately how I found out he was living with this said girl. His girl got my number from him and first contacted me- a month ago. The majority of all this took place recently.

I will no longer be editing this post but feel free to comment. I have no reason to justify my actions because I really don’t feel I have done wrong. He has told me several times if anybody has a problem with me to send them his way because he takes full responsibility for cheating on his baby momma. Maybe that’s why I have no remorse.

Have a wonderful 2020 🥳