So I think I have PPD, I had it with my first but not my second and now I think I have it again. I broke down on Monday and just cried and gave up on everything even my kids; I laid in bed and told my SO I wasn’t doing anything I didn’t care if my 6 week old cried he can take care of him.

I just laid in bed and cried my ass off, then I got up and left the house to sit in my truck and cry, then went back in and cried. My SO just hugged me and told me everything was gonna be ok, that he thinks I have PPD too, I find myself yelling, getting frustrated and annoyed with everything and everyone.

I haven’t had suicidal thoughts or thoughts of hurting my kids but I find myself wanting to give up a lot even though I don’t want too. My SO goes back to work next Friday and I am so scared/nervous I won’t be able to do it and I’ll have another break down!. I have a 6 year old that’s in school, a 3.5 year old and my 6 week old; my son still wakes up 2/3 times a night to eat on top of me having insomnia, sleep walking and my other two randomly waking up at night so it’s really hard for me to get up.

At the end of my pregnancy I had a hard time walking without being in pain so taking my son to school was a challenge and his school is literally a rock throw away. When he goes back to work that means I’ll have to feed my baby, get my SO up at 4, put my son back to sleep, wake up my other two at 7:30 get myself, baby and other two ready, take him to school, come home do what I need to, go get my son, make dinner and night time routine.

My SO helps don’t get me wrong but not a whole lot pretty much only when I ask but he does. I see a doctor on Monday for my 6 week pp and I’m gonna talk about seeing if she can help get my SO FMLA if I have PPD for a little hike till we get adjusted or till I get the help I need to get passed this.