I have no friends but I do have a family and a husband. I have always been a very private person I don't like anyone family or not to know my pain so I cover it up with smiles or fakeness. I am 20 weeks pregnant with number 3 and I hate my life. I hate how I look. I hate how I feel. This has been the most emotional trauma I have ever experienced in pregnancy. Its just hard. I feel like the moment is taking over me and sometimes I just want to close my eyes and sleep away the pain. Everything hurts. Especially my heart.