Would you let you SO keep letters from previous relationships/why?

Question

My boyfriend has a box of letter and notes from all his previous relationships or girls that he talked to. I haven't even opened it, it makes me uncomfortable, yeah maybe it's nice to have memories but why do you need reminders if you have that from a SO? I haven't even asked him to get rid of them. I'm his first girlfriend that he has lived with, and we are serious.

Answer

I don't understand why it would be weird, my partner has 1 or 2 letters, I don't mind its apart of his past, who am I to tell him to throw it away.

Answer

Yes. Because I understand people have had relationships with multiple people, it doesn't need to threaten me if they cared for other people,  because it's normal. 
I actually like to talk to my boyfriend and learn about his past people. I feel like it helps me understand him better.
I think it's ok to have memories. It would be weird to just forget. 
At the same time, I don't really like to keep sentimental items around permanently, but everyone is different.

Answer

I have a few things from my ex from high school. Not that I wear them or anything but I'm pretty sentimental. They meant alot to me at one point in my life.

Answer

I think my fiancé would agree that if either of us kept sentimental notes/gifts from a past relationship,  it would be wildly inappropriate.
That includes tshirts, necklaces, etc. I would even say photos together...
I got rid of all of those “sentimental” items when we moved in together.
I wish the best for all my exes, but I do not need to relive old memories with past flames when I am happily engaged.
That’s not to say there’s anything wrong/shady of him to have such things - it’s just a matter of having a conversation with him if it is something you aren’t comfortable with!

Answer

Unless the ex is dead, no. That’s just weird.

Answer

I actually have been in this situation, but not jesters. But I was with my so for months and I'd always seen this box on his shelf and never opened it. One day I did, and it was a stash of stuff like movie tickets, pictures and little things that were meaningful from his one big relationship years ago that essentially changed him and he took years to get over. I was naturally upset and he offered to just move the box to an upstairs closet used for storage.
My so has brain fog from lyme, so he lost a lot of memories over the years. And to him, throwing away things he was given (by exes, and also by others) makes him feel like he is erasing that part of his history.
Its difficult to deal with and move on, but I've accepted that it's not that he is stuck on the person, but that those were meaningful at one time and those are his things.
So as long as he isnt rereading them, then I'd just tell him they make you uncomfortable but you understand they're his things and you can ask if you guys can just store them away. Compromise.

Answer

The only thing I kept is the Facebook messages from my ex who killed himself that’s all I’ll ever keep and my partner is fine with that

Answer

Take it from a different perspective, he’s with you, not them. But they are part of his past and who he is today as a partner/lover/etc. I find it odd he even told you they existed but at the same time, no secrets. I’d say read them, ask your questions you might have, then move forward. 
If you get married/engaged and they still really bother you then ask him to get rid of them but I don’t think it’s a huge deal. Does he say why he keeps them?

Answer

I would say he probably doesn’t even remember he has them, as guys just don’t think about those things to often. I only know from experience as my husband had stupid little gifts from previous girlfriends laying around. However, he told me I could get rid of them...so I did. But if we were just dating / living together ...I don’t think I would ask him to get rid of them...if married...then yes. However, it’s all in the past. How about just having an open conversation about it ?

Would you let you SO keep letters from previous relationships/why?

Let’s Glow

Glow is here for you on your path to pregnancy

25+ million

4.8 stars

20+

Getting Pregnant

Pregnancy

1st Year (Baby & You)

Baby Products