My boyfriend has given me little to no support during my whole miscarriage...

So to start off I’m gonna give a disclaimer that he is 15 years old and I am 16 years old. We didn’t plan our baby. We didn’t want our baby (him more than me). And we are not mature enough to have a baby, and we recognize that.

But when I found out I was pregnant I told him that day and he said that he was going to be there for me no matter what and support me through whatever I did and chose.

Spoiler alert: he didn’t

Fast forward 11 days later (yesterday haha) and I found out my pregnancy was Ectopic.

I texted him about it, like I have everything else that has been going on—he actually got extremely sick with a really bad bug two days after I found out that got him down for 4 days throwing up, then got a sinus infection for a couple of days, then got ANOTHER sinus infection yesterday after the other one cleared up—I’ve only seen him TWICE (not his fault lol) since everything has gone down, but as I will tell in a bit, a lot has gone down. So texting is all I COULD do.

But, like everything else I’ve told him about this pregnancy, he just didn’t comment about it and just talked about something else.

And he has been doing this the whole time.

When I first started spotting a few days into knowing and told him it freaked me out a little all he said was “That sucks” then started talking about his own thing. When the bleeding got heavier a couple days later and I cried for an hour because I was really scared, but didn’t have an appointment for another week, he barely made any acknowledgement to me and just talked about something else. Then when we were able to go in the next day after the bleeding turned red and was heavier, but were told that I had already miscarried because there was no baby in my uterus when they did an ultrasound, he said “I’m sorry” and “I don’t know what you want me to say”.

So I was finally able to see him a couple days after that, and I tried to bring it up. I told him we’ve barely talked about it and we need to. He didn’t a lot, but then had the nerve to make fun of me a little for keeping my pregnancy tests. (I kept them because I feel like it’s the only physical connection I have to my baby).

Then yesterday when I was called back to the office 5 days after I thought I had miscarried, had to get another ultrasound, and found out my pregnancy was ectopic and had to get these nasty shots and even more blood drawn (I’m telling you, that’s a lot for a 16 year old girl 😂), he made NO comment on it.

And I’m not saying I’ve been perfect through all of this. I’ll admittedly text him WAY more than I “need” to and have gotten SO clingy lately, but I grew a maternal bond with my tiny baby, only to find out it has 0 chance of living and that I’ll never get to hold him or her, or see them, or anything. I just need support from my boyfriend.

But I don’t get it.

I’ll text him first thing in the morning hoping he’ll wake up, then I’ll text him and hour later, then an hour after that, and so on until I go to bed around 3. Then the next day he will FINALLY text me and make up some excuse why he didn’t text me, he will talk about how he was up until 6 in the morning. Well....I was up for some of those hours why didn’t you talk to me? Lmao

I’m just going through this all alone and he doesn’t seem to understand that.

So yesterday it kinda clicked.

He doesn’t have to deal with the consequences of having unprotected sex like I do. The most he got was having to be stressed out about telling his mom and possibly becoming a dad, but even that went away within a few days when I had “miscarried”. IM the one who has had to deal with that on top of growing a natural bond with my baby, to the fear of losing my baby, to the devastation when I found out I lost my baby, then finding out I hadn’t lost my baby but I was going to in a couple of hours. And that’s only the mental aspect of it. He didn’t have to go through all of the blood draws (and the future ones haha), and the shots, and the early symptoms of pregnancy I had. He has no consequences for what he did. That’s ALL on me.

And so I said that to him last night hoping it would give him some perspective.

He did not comment on it at all.

All he said was “I love you” and that his WiFi went out last night.

I can’t handle this anymore. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to break up with him, I just want him to be there.

This is a lot and it’s petty high school drama sorry 😂