I’m 23 and I need someone to make me realize.

Hi everyone.

I am 23 years old, turning 24. I believe I’m in an abusive relationship. Verbal abuse and emotional abuse. I have been with my daughters father for 4 years, going into 5 this year. I have never been able to truly be myself. I can’t have social media, I couldn’t talk a certain way, I couldn’t dress a certain way (well now I can) I couldn’t have opinions. The end of 2019, a couple of weeks ago, I felt like I had an epiphany and it’s almost like the light in my head just switched from off to on. I started to dress how the hell I wanted to dress, talk how I wanted to talk and most importantly speak up for myself, stand up for myself and ever since my daughters father seems to hate me. Also would like to add the fact that he’s 38 years old.... there’s so much he’s put me through it’s a lot to type but all I can say is if I were to tell you guys, y’all would hate him. Just like all my friends do. Everyone says I deserve better and I need to leave him. And that’s really where I am right now. I came home tonight, and I accidentally backed way too close to our other car that was already parked in the drive way. I dented the car I was driving. Both are luxury cars so I completely understand why he’s so upset. I said I would pay for the damage which would be around 500 and he started to yell at me saying if I wouldn’t have done it, we could have used that money for something else. He kept slamming the doors and calling me a piece of shit. I simply said ok. All night he was a compete dick to me. He said I can’t use any of his cars and I should use the old xterra we have. He has a g wagon which he’s fucked up pretty bad and yet I don’t say anything. And I drive the Bentley... I appreciate that he lets me drive these cars even after the fact that I got Into an accident with the Bentley Before.. But I just have had enough.. and i decided tonight i wanted to tell this so we’re in our bedroom and I said I wanted to separate. His face didn’t even have a reaction, he didn’t say anything AT ALL. I asked if he had anything to say to that and he said no. And that was that. We’ve been here before, he’s told me many times he wants to to leave me. He isn’t attracted to me. He’s going to find a woman with a full on career who spoils him with gifts because “I don’t do any of that shit” he’s threatening me with taking my daughter way. He’s done a lot to me. And I think I’ve stuck around because I see how happy my daughter is to have both of us together. Makes me feel like a bad mother for separating our family. And on top of that I think I’m scared of her dad because he’s really crazy.