Help? Cold feet... ?

Question

My boyfriend is so amazing. I've never been with someone so perfect and mature... we like doing the same stuff, he's very understanding so we've never had an argument in 6 months, we just talk things through. He fully respects my feelings. He listens when I need to vent. He supports & encourages me. Of course I love & respect him very much. He can roll with whatever craziness I have going on. We genuinely trust each other. We have a great time doing nothing or doing anything we've done. 
I seriously have the model relationship for once in my life, which after everything I've been through, I am very grateful. 
However!!! There are a couple things. 
Sometimes, I think he is my soul mate. But only recently, I've been perhaps coming to some less than enjoyable conclusions... 
First, he's serious about our relationship. But when we talk about the future, I don't see it well.. we never make goals as a couple so far. And he doesn't appear to be working towards anything like I'd want my future to be... he says "he's flexible" and basically could make anything work, but I don't tangibly see that. This makes me uneasy. I don't know if I like the type of life he seems to be comfortable with. But, ya know, he says he's flexible, could be wrong, and it's early, so perhaps it's not time to work together towards anything... as a goal oriented person, I'm just uncomfortable not knowing what I'm working towards except by myself. 
Another thing. He doesn't really talk about his feelings, and I thought he would eventually be more open, but talking about emotional things with him leaves a lot to be desired. It makes me feel like I don't understand him.
He doesn't like philosophy, he doesn't like debates, and I love philosophy & learning new things and debates... 
I wish we had deeper conversations more often.. we talk openly, and we have had deeper conversations, just day to day, I kinda want a lot more than talking about my day and his day and likes & dislikes... 
My main complaint to him has been not spending enough time together sometimes, and it doesn't ever get resolved, but that's basically understandable & partially my fault. And I get upset we are both terrible planners, lol, because I would like to make plans, but he makes it hard for me. 
We are very different, but that hasn't been bad at all. He's very religious, I'm not, but am interested in religion and spirituality. 
Im feeling a bit worried. I don't want to get deep into a serious relationship if I'm doing the wrong thing- although he is a great boyfriend. 
Thoughts?

Answer

have a serious conversation about your concerns and possible solutions, as well as his perspective on the situation. i was super against sharing my feelings until my bf seriously addressed it and encouraged me to share and helped me make goals. i'm super goal oriented so we set aside things like which day is generally date night for us, expectations before and after long trips, etc. we're both busy so we can go pretty long without seeing each other, so we set a goal to call either before bed or before class to check in and spend some time together. both partners need to be willing to work towards a solution, otherwise it'll just be the same things over and over. there shouldn't be an expectation to change overnight, people mess up. a lot. but there should at least be a desire and effort to make a positive change.

Answer

Start setting goals together if he doesn't mention it then you bring it up, me and my husband talked about what we wanted in life such as marriage, kids, jobs stuff like that around the same time. One thing about men is some are not as emotional as others I too find it hard speaking to my husband about how something makes him feel, stuff like that but I just think that's how he is and I try not to push him or force him. It sounds like you have an amazing man it jist takes letting him know what you want.

Answer

It sounds like yall are good for a fun relationship but there are some cautions, like him not sharing his emotions and him saying he is flexible on his future when you are asking about where yall stand. 
Also as someone who rejects organized religion I have found it hard to be with someone who is really religious because they dont like how I argue against the concept. So make sure that won't tear you apart. 
My husband and I are HORRIBLE at making things on time. Constantly running behind (we have two kids elementary age and baby under 1) so we're busy. But, he always communicates that he is trying to get shit done and make it home or whatever we're doing. So I see the effort he makes to making time for us, maybe ask your guy to put more into that. 
Overall, I feel like he may have sold you on liking him and now he is teasing back into his natural state and you are picking up on what he is "dropping" I dealt with this a lot before I met my husband and never stuck around because i dont like feeling like I sas sold something for my attention. Give. Me. The. Real. You. Let me decide what I need and want. 
This isn't me saying to end things, bit dont get your hopes up until you know who he is and what he can truly give you.

Help? Cold feet... ?

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