Moms of 2+

I'm feeling so overwhelmed. My 7.5 week old is awake when I put my 2.5 year old to bed and doesn't fall asleep until midnight most nights. Last night, my toddler peed in my bed, so I woke up an hour after going to sleep with my back covered in her pee, and had to get up to clean her up and change the sheets. Then my baby woke up sometime sounds 5:30am. Then my toddler woke up at 6:30. There's no real opportunity for proper rest. Sleep when the baby sleeps doesn't work when you have two and there's always at least one awake.

Add to all this that my toddler is SO DEMANDING. In all my parenting of her I've tried to always satisfy her needs and wants whenever possible and within reason, but it's just so impossible to do everything for her at this point. It's just all fucking day "mommy! I want milk! Mommy! I want a cracker! Mommy! I want to go potty! Mommy! I want my headphones! Mommy! Read it again! Mommy! Where's my pacifier?" And she'll repeat over and over "mommy! I want..." until she gets it. Half the damn time she eats half of whatever food she was so desperate for.

My baby is pretty chill most of the time but he's going through a really cranky phase right now, a combo of him having had a cold for 3 weeks (my toddler has had it too) and just generally growing and being a baby. He wants to be held all the time. This combo doesn't really work with my toddler wanting her needs and wants met constantly and immediately all day long, and me trying to hold a baby to stop him from crying constantly.

I'm completely on my own and have been pretty much since day one. My son was born on a Monday night and my husband took the following Tuesday off from work and that was it, other than the time off he had for thanksgiving. When my husband is home he tries to help but he acts like everything is too much work, but then behaves like I'm being irrational for feeling overwhelmed. He means well, but he's just not helping as much as I need him to.

We also only have one car, which he takes with him to work every day so I can't even take the kids out anywhere (even though that seems seriously overwhelming in its own way and I'm not sure I'd want to).

I have no idea how to solve this feeling short of having my husband take (unpaid) time off from work to help me. He's a temp too so he could easily lose his job if he took time off. It's not really an option. All my friends and family in the area also work full time on typical day shifts so I don't really have any options for help.

I feel like I'm drowning. I've been dealing with postpartum anxiety and the past couple days are the first times I've felt like maybe I'm becoming depressed too. I'm seeing a therapist but because of my child care situation and her schedule I can only see her every other week because I have to see her on Saturdays and she's only available every other Saturday.

I don't know what to do. I guess I'm just venting. I feel like I'm being a shitty mom to both my kids.