My Boyfriend is Lost :(

Not sure who will be bothered to read this, but I really need some advice on what to do as a girlfriend.

My boyfriend and I are 19(F) and 20(M) and have been dating for almost 3 years. I love him to death and would do anything for him.

Last year he moved 3 hours away for university, and it took a toll on a relationship and we broke up for a month. He realised he hated uni and moved home and we worked things out. Things are perfect now.

When we got back together I knew he had applied for the army - this suited him much more, he’s in competitive sports and is very much a ‘macho man’. He was obsessed with army stuff, the countless videos he made me watch was ridiculous but of course I wanted to be supportive and watched anyway 😂

He got accepted and I was ecstatic for him. He was so fricken excited, I’ve never seen someone so happy.

He left a week ago for basic training. I wouldn’t see him for 3 months, and I would barely get to talk to him. But I was prepared for all of that, because I love him and want to support him.

But he called me just then, his voice was so shaky like he was going to cry. He told me he wants to come home, and that he hates it.

He doesn’t find it difficult, he’s keeping up - but he’s not excited about anything. He’s distracted, he’s down all the time and super unmotivated which is not like him at all. He was saying how he’s planned our whole relationship around deployments and moving around heaps and not seeing me, but the more he thinks of that the less he wants it.

He’s seeing the psychologist tomorrow, and is pretty adamant about coming home.

I feel so horrible for him. This was something he was so looking forward to, like university, and it didn’t work out for him again. I told him there’s absolutely no shame in coming home, and I’ll support him with whatever.

As a young guy, he’s so worried about his path in life and what he wants to do. I told him he’s still so young and no one really knows what they want to do in life...

He had to go in a rush, but I called his mum and let her know what’s happening and she’s trying to get a hold of him now. I just want him to be okay.

EDIT: thank you so much for your kind words ladies - they mean so much especially coming from older and wiser women!

Just got a call from him, he’s in the medical ward. He said he’s really glad he saw her, and she gave him a referral for when he’s back home. They’re filling out paperwork to try and get him back, which could be 4 days or 90.

I just feel so horrible that he’s in such a low place emotionally. I almost blame myself...I have depression and take medication, and I feel like maybe he didn’t want to put pressure on me by telling me his problems though I’ve offered my endless support.