A rollercoaster of a journey

Around Thanksgiving I got the flu. I complained to one of my closest friends about how tired I was of being sick. It had been two weeks of feeling like garbage. My boyfriend of three years was spending more time with his friends and less time with me which only made being sick so much worse. My best friend suggested I was pregnant. I was insistent that no, I wasn't. I couldn't be. My boyfriend and I practiced safe sex and it just wasn't possible. Besides I was just about to start transitioning from female to male and go on hormones. My friend convinced me to take a test. I had the attitude of "fine. But only to prove you wrong".

6 tests later and a doctor confirmation and I had to face the reality that I am pregnant. I broke the news to my boyfriend who i expected to be excited and happy after three years of talking about how he wanted a family. I've never watched a guy walked out of the door amd never return so fast.

I moved out of my apartment and moved in with a friend of mine. And what started as a friendship turned into much more. As they supported me and held me at night while I cried and went to doctor appointments and took care of me when I felt sick...

I don't know what I'm doing. What I do know is that my baby will have a great life. The best I can provide. My baby will have parents that love him/her and do anything for them. I do know that it's going to be a very long pregnancy as every string smell makes me want to vomit and we have three dogs and will have a hamster and a gecko coming home this summer.

But I'm happy. I'm not upset by my past and I get to look forward to the future. And that makes me happy