Struggling *trigger warning*

I had my first baby girl nearly a year ago, since having her I have had 3 miscarriages, the first two being early on before 7 weeks, the most recent was at 9 weeks and 4 days, was supposed to be 10 and half weeks but scan showed no heartbeat....I'm currently booked in for an op next week but all around me is just pregnant friends....

Dont get me wrong, I'm so happy for them but one is due beginning of June, the second is due also June which was meant to be my 2nd miscarriages due date (we had same due date) and the 3rd is due july, this baby was meant to be due in August....

I'm struggling badly, everyday I cry at least once, my Facebook news feed is full of scan pics and their posts of how they feel and I feel like such a shitty friend because I am keeping my distance atm... everything is just raw..

Sorry this was mainly just to get it out a little bit 🤦‍♀️