5 months postpartum now and have struggled with major postpartum anxiety. Have had no motivation to do anything except take care of my baby. We’re moving next week to a new house and I haven’t even felt like packing. I’m down to my pre-pregnancy weight, but it’s all distributed different. Instead of most of my weight being muscle tone, it’s fat in all the wrong places. That coupled with an alcoholic husband who doesn’t think he has a problem, has lied to me multiple times, cuts me down for not being motivated as much as he thinks I should be, and constantly being obsessed with big boobs (which I don’t have), I have hit an all time low.

I started counseling. She referred me to their office’s nurse practitioner to start medication to combat the anxiety and depression. And I am setting a personal goal to work out 3-4 times between now and our closing date a week from today. I don’t know if I will succeed...but I feel like I have to. I have to get myself back or I’m going to end up divorced and never leaving my house, only coming out to buy what I need for my baby.

I feel motivated today. But I’m not doing anything but cuddling my baby. Mainly so I can tell my husband to suck it when he gets home. Then tomorrow I will start bettering myself. Maybe I should take before photos and record measurements to keep my motivation up...I’m not sure. Hopefully I can get my old self back because I hate the new me.